The Option 12 CD Lecture Series, Meditation CDs and Body Vital/Stress-Free Living CD set

Dear Bears and Samahria,

I would like to share with you yet another challenge I am meeting, one of which I thought would never happen to me. (Why did I think that? I guess I thought I already had enough challenges in other ways!)

One week ago I had a vaginal bleeding, since I have no uterus anymore, this looked serious, so the gynecologist I phoned said I had to come to the emergency department and I was examined. The doctors were not worried about the bleeding, however they found something in my left ovary, which “might be nothing, but it also can mean a lot”. And just to be sure they have taken blood, to examine that on tumor grow.

It was very interesting to explore my feelings at that moment. Although I think of myself as being a level-headed person, I forgot about all the other possibilities that can occur, but focused on the thought “I may have cancer”. For a couple of hours I was in a panic. However, when I started to explore my feelings and beliefs about this, I was sure of one thing: I did not want to feel this way, because I was convinced that I was not in any way helping my body to overcome whatever it was that is going on in my ovaries.

I have listened to your CD: “Health and Psychosomatic Illness” (CD #7 of The Option 12 CD Lecture Series) and the thing that helped me very much at that moment was the insight, that whatever it is I am facing now, does not say anything about the future and that this is all in my own hands. Instead of feeling panic, which did not serve me, I have been looking for ways to feel not only better about this situation, but I wanted to feel absolutely good about this, no matter what the outcome of the test would be.

I have started to do the guided meditation “Nurturing Health and Healing” (Part of the Guided Option Meditation Program 3 CD set) on a daily basis. I have found ways to change my beliefs from fear to confidence in the self healing powers of my body and also found inner peace and strength in myself to support my body in any way I can. I also started to listen to the “Body Vital/Stress-Free Living 2 CD set”, but the most amazing thing (to me) was I found out that I only listened to part of the CD and realized I didn’t really need to hear all that, because I just knew it (somehow). For me this was very wondrous and I was very grateful for it.

A couple of months I have gone back to school, I have taken study in aura reading and healing and my teacher said to me yesterday (when I told her what was going on in my life and that I felt very powerful and strong) that also my aura looks very clear and strong, so for me this was another confirmation that I was not just pretending to feel this way!

Next week I have to go back to the hospital for the test results and an ultrasound scan, and there I will hear whether or not it is cancer. I have already decided, that whatever it may be, I will approach this challenge fearless and with complete confidence in myself, in my mind and in my body. In a couple of weeks my husband Jan is coming to do the PowerDialogues and in April I am coming to do the Maximum Attraction, we can hardly wait! Thank you for all your ongoing support and love! I am very grateful that you have taught us a way to be “Forces of Nature”.

With love, smiles and hugs,
Simonne Vermeulen
The Netherlands

Happiness Is a Choice

Dear Bears,

It is the worst of times and the best of times. My wife of 18 years moved out while I was out of town on business. When I arrived home the dining room table, her recliner, all of her belongings, pictures of us, were gone. She left a message that our relationship was no longer working. I was devastated. I was also reborn. You see, I have been unhappy all my adult life. Probably most of my childhood too, I guess. My dear wife had spent years coping with, trying to modify, change me, to make me happy until she just couldn’t anymore. My unhappiness had pushed her to leaving. I never heard any of it; I was too busy being unhappy, miserable, afraid and unloving.

It was the best thing (besides marrying her) to happen to me. It was the one thing she did that worked. It shocked me to my core and finally woke me to what I had been doing or not doing. What to do, who to call… I believe Gods’ hands directed me to call a particular friend of ours. This friend helped me to find a path. One of the stepping stones on that path was to read your book Happiness Is a Choice. It changed me. It told me that I have a choice: to continue to be unhappy, destroying myself and my wife or to become happy and embrace the things you espouse in the book.

Today is my first day of experiencing happiness. I like the feeling! I had some errands to run today. I pulled up next to another car at a traffic light. The guy in the car was rockin’ out to some music he must have been playing. He was really into it, shaking his head, singing with the music. He was really enjoying himself. I watched him for a few moments and a smile came across my face and sense of his joy. It made me feel really good too. Then the light changed and he drove away. What is so special about that, you say? Well if that had happened last week before my re-birth I would have ridiculed him, “what an idiot” I would have said, shook my head in disgust and peeled out when the light changed, grumbling all the way. What power happiness is!

What about my wife? I am appalled at what I had done to her with my unhappy ways. Her love for me must be very powerful, to do something as extreme as that and still have hope. We had our first counseling session on Thursday. She didn’t think I would want to go, she thought I was trying to push her out, that I would be glad when I came home and found her gone, that I would finally be rid of her. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love her deeply. I was just too unhappy to show her that I did love her. We have a healing process to go through now. She is still staying away. She is deep in the well and it will take time to regain her self.

I have made the choice of happiness. I will use it to help me embrace this time of pain and healing. To learn the “Shortcuts to Happiness” and to practice them every minute of every day for the rest of my life. I want to repay her tremendous act of love by being happy. You know, the thing that really strikes me is the love that people have shown me and not asked for anything in return. Why it had to take such desperate measures to awaken me I’ll never know but I am glad it happened. It is the worst of times and the best of times to come.

With gratitude,
Richard Fried

A Cause Revealed Sends Shivers

Dear Kaufman family and staff at The Option institute,

My name is Kristina and I live in Sweden. I just want to write to you and say THANK YOU for giving me support at this very moment.

This is my story: about 14 years ago I was a student and had a small party in my dorm. A friend of mine brought an American guy to this party, his name was Raun. I thought he was really nice and special. He had his own style with long, curly hair and a big earring and I found it interesting to speak to him. Later that evening we went to a club downtown in Stockholm and I talked quite a lot to Raun. He told me he had once been autistic. He said that when he was a small boy his mother couldn't get in touch with him but was extremely patient. She would sit beside him and swing for hours and not pressure him, he continued. Later they had made a movie about his life, he told me. He said it was strange to see himself in a film. I listened carefully to this young man's story. I also remembered that he said that after he had been cured, his mother and father had opened up a school for other autistic children.

Soon after this meeting I told a friend about Raun and she had seen the movie about him in High school in a psychology class. We both found it fascinating that I had met him.

Many years later, in 1999, I gave birth to a wonderful son. I soon noticed that he was very special but I felt positive that he would turn out OK and that many of his difficulties would disappear with the right training and patience. I dreaded having to make an investigation and "label" him and in that way take away many future hopes and dreams. I and my husband still have this attitude and we are grateful every day that he climbs mountains that were impossible the day before. However, school has now signalled that they would like an investigation and they have asked us what we have planned for him in the future. The way they have spoken to us, is that we are naive thinking that he can develop and live a good life. It seems like they do not see, or choose to see, the progress he makes all the time.

When I felt sad about school's attitude, I remembered the young American I had spoken to one evening about 14 years ago. I remembered him telling me that he had had autism but was cured. That gave me a lot of hope. I spent hours on the internet trying to find facts about him and the movie he had told me about. I didn't quite remember his name and searched on Google for Ron and other similar names for hours and hours. Then suddenly I found him: Raun Kaufman was his name. I shivered. That movie must be for sale on the Internet somewhere.

I didn't find the movie but I found the books Son-Rise: The Miracle Continues and Happiness Is A Choice by Raun's father. And that's why I am writing this long letter to you. I have read those two books and they have given me hope, and more important strength, to continue to believe in my son and to continue to let myself be happy with his progress instead of letting pessimistic people trying to convince me to be realistic and trying to let me understand he has a life-long and terrible handicap.

So once again, thank you Barry Kaufman for writing such inspiring books, thank you Raun for having spent a few hours talking to me when you were an exchange student, and thank you every one at The Option Institute. You really do make a change and give people in my situation hope and strength!

A big hug to all of you!

Kristina Axelsson, Mother, Sweden

The Power of a Choice

I feel compelled to share my life-changing experience with you so here it is!

My husband John and I have been together for almost 20 years and we have two children. Although I thought I felt satisfied with our relationship Peter has constantly been searching for more to move our relationship to a higher level. I frankly resisted those efforts due to threat of change or loss of control, etc. John decided to go to the Happiness Option Weekend program in early February and requested that I go to the weekend program at the end of March.

He returned from the Happiness Option Weekend moved by what he experienced. Impressed by his experience, I, using my usual lawyerly approach to a situation, read all that I could to prepare myself for my weekend. I read Happiness Is A Choice and To Love Is To Be Happy With and realized that this approach to problems could add to my life. So, I tried it. I guess it worked so well (and your happiness weekend worked so well) that John now felt comfortable to reveal to me that he had been sleeping with another woman and he explained to me his reasons. I was devastated and hysterical. I spent the entire night asking him how he could ruin my life, I thought I could not go on and I decided to leave him as I could not live in a relationship where such a deception had occurred.

Over the weekend I visited my sister and cried for 48 hours and became angrier and continued to feel an almost unbearable hurt. I talked to John extensively during this time as he explained that he had the affair for us as he was searching for ways to continue in our relationship while desperately trying to find what he was looking for. I reaffirmed my decision to leave him and talked with my sister about the mechanics of how to divide the possessions and how to deal with the kids.

I drove home that afternoon to see my children. As I was approaching the Pennsylvania border, I played the Wayne Dyer tape that I had just checked out of the library and was reminded of the dialogues and the Option Process. I started a dialogue with myself and realized I understood why John did what he did, realized he did the best he could under the circumstances and trusted that he was doing it for us. I realized this was an unbelievable opportunity to move to the level John had been searching for. I made the decision to return home and use this experience as a positive one in our relationship, yet I remained angry at him. Then I asked myself the question that I did not initially understand when I read To Love Is To Be Happy With – What are you afraid will happen if you do not get angry? What a powerful tool! Was I afraid he will do it again? No. Was I afraid he was not sorry ? No. There, I realized I had no reason for my anger and was able to just let it go. What a power.

The next day John and I talked for hours and resolved so many things. However, I still felt an intense hurt. I began another dialogue process to deal with that and returned to the same question - Was I afraid he was not aware of how hurt I was? No. Again I was able to let go of that hurt.

It is now a week after my husband's initial revelation and John and I are at a place in our relationship emotionally, sexually, and spiritually that I never dreamt I could be all brought about simply from reading your books! I truly believe that John and I would not be together and I would be filing for divorce without the publication of Happiness Is A Choice... Thank you and I wish to leave you with a poem from Rumi that describes the beautiful state Peter and I are in because of The Option Process:

To John:

When it's cold and raining, You are more beautiful

And the snow brings me even closer to your lips.

The Inner Secret, that which was never born, You are that freshness, and I am with you now.

I can't explain the goings, and the comings. You enter suddenly,

and I am nowhere again. Inside the Majesty.

Thank you for bringing us there. We will see you at the CouplesCourse program.

-- Kathleen, Attorney, Pennsylvania

Dear Bears,

I am writing to share the good news and to say thank you for what I have received from the experiences and the people of The Option Institute.

During my recent meetings with the lead doctor and my radiation and medical oncologists, they express amazement at the positive and wonderful way I had gone through the treatment for the cancer. They were so impressed with my attitude and the way I dealt with the difficulties and pain that came along with the treatments. Along the way, so many others have commented on my attitude and way of living with the processes I went through.

I was happy, rather delighted, to share one of the sources of that open and intentional attitude – The Option Institute. In addition to giving CDs and the Option website, I have told many people of your book, No Regrets. In fact, it was wonderful when I was up for the Happiness Option Weekend to have a great dialogue with Lauren in one of the memorial gazebos in memory of your father, Abe.

I truly feel honored and blessed to be part of the Option community and to have the opportunity to share in the love, wisdom and energy that you, Samahria, Raun, and so many others have created.

Again, thank you for being present in my life in so many wonderful ways.

Sid Falthzik

Love & Happiness at McDonald's

Bears,

When I was home over Christmas, after volunteering at The Option Institute, I went to McDonald's (sometimes you just gotta have that greasy burger!!). While I was waiting in line, there was a girl working at the register who I would say had a special learning opportunity. She was starting to get annoyed and argumentative with a customer who had ordered a Coke and got a shake. She was getting annoyed and the customer was getting annoyed. Interesting to watch. At that point, the store manager came over and took care of the problem by replacing the drink. He then took the worker aside and proceeded to talk with her about what had just happened. He spoke with her in an extremely loving, caring and supportive manner. He was constantly aware that she was making her own choices, and that she could change if she wanted to. She smiled at him, agreed, thanked him and then gave him a big hug. It was an incredible way to watch an interaction out in the non-Option Process® world.

I was so intrigued by this that I asked the manager if I could speak to him for a moment. With a big smile, he said "Yes sir," and walked right over to me. The first thing I noticed was how present he was with me (or maybe I was just more present with him than I would have been a few short months ago). I told him that I saw his interaction with the girl, and was quite impressed with it. He thanked me. I asked him how he learned to deal with people like that. He then told me how about 1 1/2 years ago, he was working in a McDonald's on the North Shore, earning minimum wage, and choosing to be totally depressed. He thought that he would just never get anywhere in his life. Then his mother gave him a book for his birthday and he read this book four times over before he really "got it". Through this book, he came to realize that everything he did, everything he wanted was within his power that all choices were his. Since then, he has been promoted through the ranks of McDonald's, and is now District Manager, owns a home, has a car he's been wanting his whole life and got engaged!! Listening to this was inspiring!! Half-knowing, I asked him what the book was. He said "Happiness Is A Choice by Barry Neil Kaufman." I said, "No s#$*!!" We then proceeded to talk for sometime, and I gave him a catalogue. What great changes these ideas can possess!!

I was in Braintree, Massachusetts this weekend and I went into the bookstore there. Right on the front counter were Happiness Is A Choice books. I found out that they had ordered fifteen, and they now only had seven left!! It was a wonderful feeling to see the fruit of your labor, Bears, sitting on the shelf where it may just be the key to unlock someone else's personal potential, just like the manager of a McDonald's. It is with great honor, appreciation and gratitude that I helped you get these into the streets of a nation looking for happiness.

Chris V., Teacher, Massachusetts

Mine Is a Total Success Story

Dear Bears,

Thank you for The Option Institute and for you and the staff!!!!! The Grand Summer Sequence (formerly L.T.D.) was a wonderful loving, learning experience for me.

Where to start? My life is so different today from "POST" (Pre-Optimal Self-Trust). When I came to Optimal Self-Trust, I came wanting to be rid of years of depression and anxiety. I came hating my job and earning very little money. I came as the victim of the circumstances of my life - years of incest by my father, a childhood of verbal and physical abuse by both parents, and continuous rages by my alcoholic father. I had been married and divorced twice and three of my four children weren't speaking to me (that was the hardest part of my life).

I was believing that, in spite of information to the contrary, there must be something I should be doing to change the situation with my children, so I could be happy.

I had a dialogue with you that first Monday night and changed some beliefs about myself and my children. In Tuesday's class, I decided on the name "Open." I wanted to be open to whatever new ideas were presented, no matter how illogical they seemed, and I wanted to open myself up to the teachers and the class. I kept hearing ideas that made little sense to me, and kept reminding myself to be open to them; just because I hadn't heard them before, didn't necessarily make them invalid.

I took the ideas home and tried them on. The one I reminded myself of the most was "I can make it up the way I want it." I played with the ideas, listened to some of your tapes and reread your books. Also, my housemate and I talked and talked about The Option Process® concepts.

I came back to Empowering Yourself, and kept changing my beliefs. I bought The Option Process 12 CD Lecture Series  and listened to it over and over (and over). I doubled my income that first year and had fun doing it!!! I went from hating my job to having fun at work every day. Selling real estate is listed as one of the most stressful jobs in our society, and it is now virtually stress-free for me. If I feel any stress, I am aware that I have created it.

I have saturated my mind and my life with The Option Process concepts, and have kept changing unempowering beliefs into empowering beliefs. I am now so aware that this moment is the only one there is, and I have the power to choose what I want to do in it and how I want to feel in it. Happiness is totally a choice - and it is my choice everyday now.

I have stayed Open - open to the ideas and concepts, and have kept trying them on. I have learned how not to be so concerned about what others think of me, and to stop measuring myself up to others. I can just choose happiness anytime, anyplace, and always have a great day. I was so joyful upon my return home about my new beliefs that I did a home study class with some of my friends so they could learn the ideas also. I had great fun doing it, and learned so much myself also. I have filled my life with more and more people who relate to The Option Process concepts.

I am more open to myself and my feelings, and open to taking in love from others. Even though I always saw you as totally loving, I didn't take it in as personally for me until the last two weeks of the summer programs (Grand Summer Sequence). I know the change was not in you, it was in me.

Knowing that I can trust myself and God moment-to-moment, day-to-day, month-to-month and year-to-year is a self-trust that I have never felt before. I am relaxed in myself and my interactions with other people.

Mine is a total success story! I now know I have total charge of my life, my feelings and behaviors. I can turn any unhappiness or distress around and choose happiness at anytime in every moment. Thank you for playing with us in a way that led me to take charge of my beliefs. I have a great day every day, and it keeps getting better and better as I learn more about myself, and allow myself to go toward any discomfort, feel it, let it go, and choose to be present and happy.

I am so happy for this gift, and am spreading my happiness around everywhere I go!

Love,
Jackie McCullough, Real Estate Broker, New York

Happiness Is A Choice, PowerDialogues, The Option Process 12 CD Lecture Series, To Love Is To Be Happy With

Thank you Bears, I am planning to go next year as this year I have committed my holidays to volunteer at The Son-Rise Programs in the UK. I have read Happiness Is A Choice and I keep PowerDialogues at my bedside to read at night, opening a page at random. I just bought The Option Process 12 CD Lecture Series and I'll start listening to it this weekend. What I'll do in the meantime is book a dialogue to deal with this issue. Aren't we blessed we have all these tools, thanks to you and The Option Institute. I am a big fan of Option Indigo's books and have read most of them. My favorite book is To Love Is To Be Happy With because it is divided in subjects and it has a dialogue example for each theme. It is easy to pick it up and read something you really need at that particular moment, it's a bit like a "first aid" box to remind me I could be making different choices in my life.

Big Love,

Simone

Happiness Is A Choice

Hi Bears, In preparation for attending the Son-Rise Start Up Program, I just finished reading "Happiness is a Choice" for the second time. I've noticed that the frequency of my "choosing to be happy, no matter what" has increased yet again! I now consistently find the answer is "Yes" when I ask myself, "Can I be happy even though I don't know how I'll get all this work done?" or other similar questions. I'm so excited about attending the program in June! Thanks again for sharing your knowledge with the world. Hugs, Trish Harding

Happiness Is A Choice

Bears,
I want to tell you what a gift your book "Happiness is a Choice" has been for me. It seems whenever I am struggling with something in my life I turn to your book and find comfort. I also had the pleasure of coming to the Option Institute last Sept. to take the Happiness option class. I really enjoyed that also and am already planning how I can come back to take more classes. Thanks for being you and for all the wonderful things you do!

Janet Steinberger
Jamestown,ND

Happiness Is A Choice

Oh, Bears! What a perfect ending to my week to be able to add you to my list of friends! You've always been an inspiration to me, not only when I attended Happiness is a Choice in 1998 and OST in 1999, but also in your books, which I now give to my clients. Because of my being inspired by you and Samahria, I becamse licensed as a mental health counselor. I buy copies of Happiness is a Choice regularly and encourage my clients to read it and live it. Much love, Martha (Indiana)

Happiness Is A Choice

 Dear Bears, something I want to share with you. Lately, as I’ve been thinking that I'm a victim of all this craziness, my son who still struggles socially, sat beside me silently, put his arm around me just like that for 5-10 minutes. His choice of consoling me was amazing and really working. And when I lied down on the bed, still feeling low, he just played by himself, checking on me from time to time with his smile. I am blown away. This boy is already living life the Option way. He chooses to use his happiness to comfort me. I was bitter and negative at him, and he still smiled at me, no judgment, just total acceptance of me. It's like he's the teacher, he's teaching me in his own way about happiness. And you know what else? When I feel sad, he takes out a book, hands it to me and reads out loud "Happiness is a Choice" by Barry Neil Kaufman." never my other books, always this book. And he often blurts out "Autism is awesome, mom!", just like that, out of nowhere. Amazing! Lucy

To Love Is To Be Happy With

 Hi Bears, I'm reading To Love Is To Be Happy With, and feeling peace inside. With happiness in me, I am better motivated to join my son's ism. I really like your message "Autism is curable!" because no matter how mild my son's Autism is, I often wonder if he'll ever emerge from it. Mostly I get confused by the "no judgment, just acceptance" way of living. I get it, but I'm not sure what I get and how to apply it in everyday's life. There is so much to learn for me, but I'm just ever grateful for your wisdom. Love, Lucy

PowerDialogues

Hi Bears, so great you are on here. :-) I want to say a big thank you for giving the gift of your knowledge in the book "PowerDialogues" which I am studying right now. It's such a powerful book and I have hugely enjoyed giving myself the opportunity to put this process into practice in my life, even more than I already am. I have to say it's been an amazing journey so far. I have made many changes with myself, which have resulted in the most positive and beautiful miracles in my relationships with the people I love, changes I thought would be challenging, have actually proved to be quick and simple. "PowerDialogues" is definitely a book I will be reading again and again for as long as I can see the words on the page, so hopefully the rest of my life! :-) There will always be learnings in it as we are always changing and growing. Thank you. :-) Words can not say how excited I am to participate at Radical in July, so I'll see you then. Woooohoooo Paula

Dear Bears,

 Thank you, thank you, thank you for your wonderful teaching!!

 I have been reading "Happiness Is A Choice"  and it has revolutionized my whole inner life - and my outer life is following suit! Thanks so much from the bottom of my heart for sharing your findings and great teachings with me.

 For my whole life, I have struggled so very hard to love myself and accept myself. I have a near-genius IQ, so I spend so much of my brainpower trying to understand hurts and pains, trying so hard 'work things through'. I identified so well with your description, Bears, of going to therapy and really hitting your issues hard, and feeling like you were only hitting a wall. The answers and results seemed so disappointing to me.

 I've read so many 'self-help' books, done journaling until I couldn't do it anymore - it just depressed me to write negative things down all the time! So I stopped.

 And then after such heartbreaking, soul-breaking struggle, to always seem to come up short in every area of my life... though I tried, the results were just mediocre to bad, it seemed. And I was so unhappy for so long.

 BUT!!!

 I'm writing to tell you how dramatically and wonderfully your fabulous book has helped me to change my perception of life. I am almost crying right now, I feel so grateful and thankful to you and God, and to me.

  I have always been quick to judge a happy feeling - it couldn't last - shouldn't last...and that's what always happened to me. Something happened and then in a moment my happiness was gone.

 It hurt so much, not to get to be happy, that I just stopped trying, because it always seemed such a fleeeting and cheating experience.

 But through your wonderful teachings, I have found happiness. I can be happy, deliriously happy, RIGHT NOW! And that no matter what situation comes along, it doesn't matter!  Happiness is mine, to take with me. It's given me an incredible sense of self-love and inner strength - strong I feel at last, to face whatever! Because I'm not dependent anymore on anyone or anything (but me and my choices) as to whether I'm happy.

 I had to write you, and thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your tremendous love and fantastic, powerful and effective and unbelievable teachings and book.

With love and thanks,

Michael Phillips, Composer, Teacher, California

 Hi Bears,
 On Saturday I started to look back at my course notes from the PowerDialogues course for preparation for an assignment. Serena (my daughter nearly 5.5yrs) asked me to read what I was reading aloud, so I
did, I was going over the categories of statements dividing them into beliefs, feelings,etc. and then on to sub categories of
beliefs. I gave Serena examples of each, then to show her understanding she came back to me with an equally valid examples. I was very impressed so I complimented her and told her how helpful she had been clarifying the subject for me. She said " I love teaching you Mum". She then went on to say she really enjoyed the activity and wanted to read more about it, then she asked if she could have her very own copy of Happiness Is A Choice! How cute!!! You can ask her for feedback if you like, she is very good at it.
Lots of love, Rekha.x